TEXT. HOW WE KEPT MOTHER'S DAY by Stephen Leacock
Leacock, Stephen (1869-1944) — a famous Canadian writer of the 20th century. His stories, full of humour and sarcasm, expose the contradictions of life in modem bourgeois society.
Leacock says that the basis of humour lies in the contrasts offered by life itself, but "the deep background that lies behind and beyond what we call humour is revealed only to the few who. by instinct or by effort have given thought to it."
So we decided to have a special celebration of Mother's Day. We thought it a fine idea. It made us all realize how much Mother had done for us for years, and all the efforts and sacrifice that she had made for our sake.
We decided that we'd make it a great day, a holiday for all the family, and do everything we could to make Mother happy. Father decided to take a holiday from his office, so as to help in celebrating the day, and my sister Anne and I stayed home from college classes, and Mary and my brother Will stayed home from High School.
It was our plan to make it a day just like Xmas32 or any big holiday, and so we decided to decorate the house with flowers and with mottoes over the mantelpieces,33 and all that kind of thing. We got Mother to make mottoes and arrange the decorations, because she always does it at Xmas.
The two girls thought it would be a nice thing to dress in our very best for such a big occasion and so they both got new hats. Mother trimmed both the hats, and they looked fine, and Father had bought silk ties for himself and us boys as a souvenir of the day to remember Mother by. We were going to get Mother a new hat too, but it turned out that she seemed to really like her old grey bonnet better than a new one, and both the girls said that it was awfully becoming to her.
Well, after breakfast we had it arranged as a surprise for Mother that we would hire a motor car and take her for a beautiful drive away into the country. Mother is hardly ever able to have a treat like that, because we can only afford to keep one maid, and so Mother is busy in the house nearly all the time.
But on the very morning of the day we changed the plan a little bit, because it occurred to Father that a thing it would be better to do even than to take Mother for a motor drive would be to take her fishing; if you are going to fish, there is a definite purpose in front of you to heighten the enjoyment.
So we all felt that it would be nicer for Mother to have a definite purpose; and anyway, it turned out that Father had just got a new rod the day before.
So we got everything arranged for the trip, and we got Mother to cut up some sandwiches34 and make up a sort of lunch in case we got hungry, though of course we were to come back home again to a big dinner in the middle of the day, just like Xmas or New Year's Day. Mother packed it all up in a basket for us ready to go in the motor.
Well, when the car came to the door, it turned out that there hardly seemed as much room in it as we had supposed.
Father said not to mind him, he said that he could just as well stay home; and that he was sure that he could put in the time working in the garden; he said that we were not to let the fact of his not having had a real holiday for three years stand in our way; he wanted us to go right ahead and be happy and have a big day.
But of course we all felt that it would never do to let Father stay home, especially as we knew he would make trouble if he did. The two girls, Anne and Mary, would gladly have stayed and helped the maid get dinner, only it seemed such a pity to, on a lovely day like this, having their new hats. But they both said that Mother had only to say the word, and they'd gladly stay home and work. Will and I would have dropped out, hut unfortunately we wouldn't have been any use in getting the dinner.
So in the end it was decided that Mother would stay home and just have a lovely restful day round the house, and get the dinner. It turned out anyway that Mother doesn't care for fishing, and also it was just a little bit cold and fresh out of doors, though it was lovely and sunny, and Father was rather afraid that Mother might take cold if she came.
So we all drove away with three cheers for Mother, and Father waved his hand back to her every few minutes till he hit his hand on the back edge of the car, and then said that he didn't think that Mother could see us any longer.
Well, — we had the loveliest day up among the hills that you could possibly imagine.
It was quite late when we got back, nearly seven o'clock in the evening, but Mother had guessed that we would be late, so she had kept back the dinner so as to have it just nicely ready and hot for us. Only first she had to get towels and soap for Father and clean things for him to put on, because he always gets so messed up with fishing, and that kept Mother busy for a little while, that and helping the girls get ready.
But at last everything was ready, and we sat down to the grandest kind of dinner — roast turkey and all sorts of things like on Xmas Day. Mother had to get up and down a good bit during the meal fetching things back and forward.
The dinner lasted a long while, and was great fun, and when it was over all of us wanted to help clear the things up and wash the dishes, only Mother said that she would really much rather do it, and so we let her, because we wanted just for once to humour her.
It was quite late, when it was all over, and when we all kissed Mother before going to bed, she said it had been the most wonderful day in her life, and I think there were tears in her eyes. So we all felt awfully repaid for all that we had done.
VOCABULARY NOTES
1. to get (got, got) υt/i 1. доставать, добывать; to get smb. smth., to get smth. for smb., е.g. I can get this book for you. (I can get you this book.)
2. получать, е.g. Did you get ( = receive) my telegram?
3. покупать, приобретать, е.g. The two girls got new hats.
4. прибывать, добираться, достигать, е.g. We cannot get to Moscow tonight. It was very late when he got home.
5. приготовить, подготовить, обеспечить, е.g. It was decided that Mother would stay home and get the dinner ( = get it ready).
6. заставить кого-л. что-л. сделать, добиться, чтобы кто-л. что-л. сделал, е.g. We got Mother to arrange the decorations.
7. становиться (as a link-verb), е.g. It was getting dark when we arrived at the station. I got very cold while waiting in the street.
Syn. to become
to get smth. done, е.g. I got everything arranged in time.
have got = have, e, g. I have got something to tell you. I haven't got the book you're talking about (cf.: I have no books by this author.).
N о t e: In modern conversational English the word combination have got in the meaning of иметь, обладать is used much more often than the verb have m the same meaning, especially with a concrete object.
have got to do smth., е.g. I have got to (= must) finish my work in time. It has got to be done.
to get back = to come back, е.g. At what time shall we get back?
to get over a disease (fear, difficulties, grief, etc.), е.g. Don't worry, the child will soon get over his illness.
to get up and down, е.g. Mother had to get up and down a good bit during the meal fetching things back and forward.
to get on smb.'s nerves, е.g. Don't get up and down every minute, you're getting on my nerves.
2. to turn υt/i 1. вращать(ся), поворачивать(ся), вертеться), е.g. At hearing her voice I turned (turned my head). The car turned the corner.
2. превращать(ся), изменять(ся) (into smth.), е.g. The water in the pond turned into ice as the night had been frosty.
to turn away (from smb. or smth.) отвернуться (от)
to turn back повернуть назад
to turn inside out вывернуть(ся) наизнанку, е.g. My umbrella turned inside out in the wind.
to turn out оказаться, е.g. He turned out a bad actor. The day turned out (to be) a fine one. It turned out that there were no vacant seats in the bus.
as it turned out... = as it happened
to turn over перевернуть(ся), е.g. He turned over a page. He turned over in bed.
to turn up (по)явиться, прийти, е.g. We expected him to join us, but he never turned up.
to turn smth. upside down перевернуть вверх дном, разбросать, е.g. Someone has turned everything upside down in my drawer.
3. to treat υt 1. обращать(ся), обходиться, относиться; to treat smb. well, kindly, coldly, etc., е.g. Don't treat me as if I were a child. Better treat his words as a joke. You treat" the matter too lightly.
2. лечить; to treat smb. for smth. with smth., е.g. Who treated your child for scarlet fever? What medicine are you treated with?
3. угощать чем-n. (перен. доставлять удовольствие); to treat smb. to smth., е.g. I'll treat you all to (= I'll buy you) some ice-cream. Wouldn't you like him to treat you ( = to pay for your ticket) to a ballet? I shall treat myself to a week-end holiday.
treat n 1. удовольствие, наслаждение, е.g. I've never had a treat like that! What a treat it is not to have to get up early! Every chance to listen to good music is a great treat to her.
2. угощение
treatment n 1. обращение (с кем-n.), е.g. Her treatment of the pupils is always kind and patient, (prep, "of")
2. лечение, е.g. Have you heard of a new treatment for pneumonia? (prep, "for")
4. afford υt (быть в состоянии) позволить себе (usu. with can, could, be able to)
s mth.; е.g. I can't afford time for movies.
to afford
to do smth., е.g. Can you afford to go away for a holiday?
5. to keep (kept, kept) υt/i 1. держать (в разных смыслах); а) хранить, е.g. She always keeps old letters.; b) задержать, не отдавать, е.g. You may keep the book, I don't want it yet.; с) (с) держать (слово и т. п.), е.g. Не always keeps his promise.; d) содержать, е.g. Mr. Watson had a wife and family to keep.; e) задержать, заставить ждать, е.g. I'm sorry I kept you waiting.
2. праздновать, справлять, е.g. "How We Kept Mother's Day"; She always keeps her birthday.
to keep smth. + adj., е.g. This work kept the children busy. You must keep your feet warm.
to keep to smth., е.g. Keep to the diet. Let's keep to the middle of the road.
to keep on doing smth., е.g. She kept on writing when I came in (not used of a state, but only of activities. Cf.: He kept on standing up. But He remained standing.).
to keep smb. from doing smth., е.g. It kept me from Joining you.
to keep (smth.) back, е.g. The young men kept the crowd back. I'm sure he is keeping something back (= not telling all; concealing something). Mother had guessed that we would be late, so she had kept back the dinner.
6. to occur υi 1. случаться, происходить, е.g. Such incidents occur every day. It must never occur again.
2. приходить на ум, е.g. It occurred to me that something might be wrong with her. Didn't it occur to you to close the window to keep the noise back?
7. to enjoy υi получать удовольствие, наслаждаться, е.g. I enjoyed the trip very much. I've enjoyed seeing you.
to enjoy oneself, е.g. I enjoyed myself at the concert last night.
enjoyment n удовольствие, наслаждение
8. fun n 1. веселье, забава, развлечение, е.g. Children are fond of fun. What fun we had when we were together! He is full of fun.
to make fun of высмеивать, подшучивать, е.g. He's fond of making fun of people. Nobody likes to be made fun of.
to do smth. in (for) fun делать что-л. в шутку, е.g. I said it only in (for) fun.
2. предмет шуток, источник веселья, удовольствия, е.g. The party (your friend) was great fun.
funny adj смешной, забавный, е.g. I have a funny story to tell you.
NOTES ON STYLE
1. In Leacock's story "How We Kept Mother's Day" you will find numerous words and phrases of informal functional style (See Note A on p. 52), е.g. all that kind of thing (cf. the Russian «и все такое»), awfully (in "awfully becoming", cf. the Russian «ужас как идет; потрясающе к лицу»), a little bit («чуть-чуть»), have a big day («здорово провести время»), get messed up («перемазаться, вывозиться в грязи»), the dinner... was great fun («весело было за обедом»), etc.
Note also the interjection well introducing some of the passages (which normally occurs in oral speech), the omission of the conjunction that and the syntax imitating that of oral communication by its free and careless structures.
2. The story presents an interesting example of the indirect method of characterization. The author does not say directly that the members of the family were selfish, callous and hard-hearted people (that would be the direct method of characterization) but makes them act and lets the reader draw his own conclusion.
3. "How We Kept Mother's Day" is a humorous story. Humour in fiction may be of two principal types. It may be humour of situation when the author makes us laugh at certain funny or absurd facts, е.g. the members of the family buying presents for themselves on Mother's Day, but buying nothing for their mother. There is also humour of words when the reader does not laugh at what is happening in the story but at how it is put by the author. E. g. But of course we all felt that it would never do to let Father stay at home, especially as we knew he would make trouble if he did.
ESSENTIAL VOCABULARY (I)
Words
afford υ funny adj repay υ effort n
get υ sacrifice υ, n enjoy υ guess υ
treat υ, n especially adv hire υ treatment n
fetch υ keep υ trim υ fun n
occur υ turn υ purpose n unfortunately adv
Word Combinations
for smb.'s sake to get over smth.
to stay (at) home from college (classes, school) to take smb. for a drive
to dress in one's best (worst) in case
just as well to stand (be) in smb.'s way
for such an occasion to make trouble
to turn out to be no use
in the end to get on smb.'s nerves
to care for smb. (or smth.) to turn inside out
to keep back to turn over
for a little (short, long) to turn up
while to turn upside down
to get up and down for (in) fun
to get to some place to make fun of smb.
EXERCISES
1. Read Text of Unit Four and the Notes on Style and talk on the following points (A. Grammar, B. Word usage. С. Style):
A. 1. Which verbs used in the text are modal verbs? Comment on their meanings and translate the sentences in which they are used.
2. What are the meanings of the verbs to get, to make, to keep, to take in the text? (Translate the sentences with these verbs.)
3. Mother and Father are capitalized and used without articles in the text. How would you use the words in reported speech (oral and written)?
B. 1. in the phrases to decorate the house and to trim the hats we have two different equivalents of «украшать». What can be trimmed or decorated?
2. We say in the morning (evening, afternoon), but in the phrase "on the very morning of the day" on is used. Why? (Cf: on that evening, on the morning of his arrival.)
C. 1. Point out as many colloquial words and phrases as you can find. Supply their Russian equivalents if possible. What is the author's purpose in introducing so many units of informal style?
2. Point out the passages which characterize the members of the family and their real attitude to the mother. What is the method of characterization used by the author?
3. Which sentences or passages bear touches of humour? Try to explain how the humorous effect is achieved in each case. Which type of humour prevails in the story? (See Notes on Style.)
II. a) Search the text for English equivalents of the phrases listed below and write them ia your exercise book:
отмечать (праздновать) День Матери, не пойти в школу, одеться по-праздничному (принарядиться), взять напрокат машину, почти все время, на случай если.... мог бы с таким же успехом остаться дома, скоротать время, от нас бы не было никакой пользы, ушибить руку обо что-нибудь, убирать со стола, хотя бы на этот раз, обед продолжался долго, ради такого случая, в такой чудесный день, повезти ее на машине за город, вернуться домой к праздничному обеду, не так уж много места, не годится оставлять отца дома, выяснилось, что все равно.,., махал ей рукой, сели обедать, приносить и уносить что-л., мы чувствовали себя вполне вознагражденными за...
b) Get the student sitting next to yon translate half of the Russian phrases into English (in writing) and check them with the key in your notebook. Translate the other half yourself and ask your neighbour to correct your translation. III. Translate in writing these passages. Compare and discuss different variants of students' translation:
1. It occurred to Father that a thing it would be better to do even than to take Mother for a motor drive would be to take her fishing; if you are going to fish, there is a definite purpose in front of you to heighten the enjoyment. 2. Father said not to mind him, he said that he could just as well stay home; he said that we were not to let the fact of his not having had a real holiday for three years stand in our way,
IV. Try your hand at teaching:
A. Preparation. Pick out from the text all the words with the letter g in them. Classify them according to the way g is pronounced and put them down in columns. Make up a list of words to illustrate the same rules.
B. Work in Class. a) Show the table to the class and let the students comment on it.
b) Dictate the words in class with one student writing them on the board. Correct the mistakes on the board. (See 'Classroom English", Sections IV, VII, VIII.)
V. a) Write the words below in the Past Indefinite. Classify them into two groups: one with the final г doubled, the other one with one final r in the Past Indefinite. b) Explain to the students when the final r should be doubled:
enter, occur, offer, remember, clear, refer [rI`fE:], cheer, bar, utter [`Atq], star, prefer, stir [stE:].
VI. a) Write an outline of the text (see Ex. IX on p. 59). (The outline may be written in the Present or Past Indefinite tenses.) b) Discuss the outlines written by several students and choose the best one. Improve it by using some variants from other students' works. Write it down on the board and make the students copy it in their exercise books. VII. Write two questions to each item of the outline: one should help to reveal the contradictions between what the members of the family said and did, the other (with a modal verb) — what they could or ought to have done.
e.g. 1. Did the girls really think that their mother's old bonnet was "awfully becoming" to her? 2. Don't you think they should have bought something for their mother too? (Make the students reason out their answers.)
VIII. Study the Vocabulary Notes end Essential Vocabulary (I) and a) Paraphrase the following (in writing):
1. to make smb. do smth.; 2. to have smth. arranged; 3. to recover after a disease; 4. to stand up and sit down; 5. to look in the opposite direction; 6. to come to one's mind; 7. to appear unexpectedly; 8, a great pleasure; 9. at last; 10. to be able (to spend money on smth., etc.); 11. to continue to do smth.; 12. not to let smb. do smth.; 13. to conceal some tact; 14. to enjoy oneself; 15. to love (take interest in); 16. for a short time; 17. to take a taxi; 18. to become dirty; 19. to laugh at (mock) smb.; 20. to get other people into a mess.
b) Make op sentences with the phrases yea have written. IX. A word in one language may have different equivalents in another.
е.g. место — room, place жертва — sacrifice, victim приносить — fetch, bring
a) Look op the words given above in an English-Russian dictionary, find out the exact meaning of each pair of words and write sentences illustrating the difference in their use. b) Ask the students to translate the Russian variants of your sentences. X. Translate the sentences into English using Essential Vocabulary (1);
1. Какое удовольствие слушать ее пение! 2. После концерта детей угощали чаем с пирожными. 3. Выключи радио, эта музыка действует мне на нервы. 4. Я повернула за угол и столкнулась лицом к липу со своей подругой. 5. Почему нужно переворачивать все вверх дном, чтобы найти какой-то пустяк? 6. Мальчика лечили от кори, но оказалось, что у него скарлатина. 7. Девочке нравилось, что с ней обращаются как со взрослой. 8. Она не могла удержать ребенка от шалостей. 9. Мы прекрасно провели время на пляже. Было очень весело. 10. Дэвиду не приходило в голову, что он всех задерживает. 11. Детей нужно приучать хорошо (kindly) обращаться с животными. 12. Кто бы мог подумать, что она станет талантливой актрисой! 13. Ах, вот как ты держишь свое слово! 14. Ваш приятель — такой весельчак, — Да? Представьте, мне это никогда не приходило в голову. 15. Это случилось много лет назад. Она, должно быть, уже забыла обо всем. 16. Как весело играть в эту игру! 17. Школьные товарищи Роберта смеялись над его зеленым костюмом. 18. Какая забавная шляпка!
XI. Retell the test following the outline (see Ex. VI, p. 132). Speak about the contradictions between the words and the behaviour of the members of the family:
е.g. ... They said, they realized what their mother had sacrificed for their sake and wanted to thank her for everything she had been doing for them. In fact, I believe, they just wanted to make it a holiday for themselves. They stayed at home ... etc.
XII. a) Translate these sentences into Russian.
I. We may just as well dance now. 2. I would rather hire a taxi. I'm very tired. 3. It will never do to punish the child for what he has not done. 4. He never keeps people waiting if he can help it. 5. We must keep him from making trouble. 6. Take my gloves, they will keep your hands warm. 7. It's no use trimming this old hat, it won't look better. 8. We got everything arranged for the trip by 9 o'clock. 9. We got her to believe our story. 10. The arrangements for the party will keep me busy the whole day, I'm afraid. 11. You shouldn't keep the children out after dark. 12. Keep the ticket if you don't want to be fined.
b) Write sentences of your own using the phrases in bold type. Address them to the other students who should reply them expressing their approval or disapproval.
P r o m p t s: How nice (good, clever, bad, awful) of you (him, her)! I don't think you should have done it. Sure. But that's not quite true. No wonder. I am delighted at your idea.
ХIII. Make up a conversation which took place after the day described in the text between: the two girls, the two boys, the father and his son, the mother and her friend, two neighbours. You may find the following openings useful:
I say...; Honestly...; If you ask me...; You know what I think...; The point is...; Don't you agree that...; I must say that...; Tell you what,..; Eventually...; Actually...; Definitely... .
XIV. Fill in prepositions or adverbs where necessary:
I. The dress is just wonderful. It is very becoming ... you. 2. I haven't seen you ... ages. How are you getting ...? 3. I liked the cake you treated me .... How do you make it? 4. Turn ... the page and do Exercise 3. 5. He turned ... a very good story-teller. I enjoyed ... his stones immensely. 6. We shall discuss the matter ... our way home. 7. I'm sure you'll get... all the difficulties ... the end. 8. Pete didn't want to take his younger brother fishing, he was afraid that he would be ... his way. 9. The students-... Group 3 will help to decorate the hall... flowers and mottoes. 10. The father had promised to take the boys ... a drive ... the country ... Sunday. But unfortunately the weather changed ... the morning and they had to stay ... home. 11. Celia waved her hand ... Lanny until the train was out... sight. 12.... such a big occasion all the children were dressed ... their best. 13. When all the things were packed ... a suit-case, it turned ... that my ticket had somehow got there too, and I had to turn everything ......in search ... it. 14. The children were allowed to stay ... home ... school, as the mother's birthday was a great occasion ... all the family.
XV. Translate the sentences into English, using Essential Vocabulary (I) and Patterns 1-4:
1. У меня так много дел, что я просто не могу позволять себе терять время. 2: Вот та самая шляпа, о которой я вам говорила. Я уверена, что она очень пойдет вам. 3. Не могу себе представить, как вы сумеете преодолеть все эти трудности. 4. Я не могла позволить себе купить такой дорогой подарок. 5. Я надеюсь, что мы успеем добраться до станция метро до того, как оно закроется. 6. Сегодня я получила от него письмо. Он пишет, что у него масса работы и он почти никогда не может даже доставить себе такое удовольствие, как сходить в кино. 7. Вы все время встаете и садитесь, входите и выходите. Не годится работать таким образом. 8. Завтра у нас вечер, и я хочу принарядиться по этому поводу. 9. Что-то выпало из моей сумочки, вероятно, авторучка. 10. Он, должно быть, все приготовил к отъезду. 11. Разве мог кто-нибудь подумать, что она сказала это в шутку? 12. Неужели ты не можешь заставить ребенка вовремя лечь спать? 13. Все семейство великолепно провело время за городом, хотя героине дня пришлось остаться дома и готовить обед. 14. Этот цвет тебе очень к лицу.
XVI. Review the text. Say a few words about the style and language of Leacock's story. Be sure to touch on a) selection of words, b) syntax, c) method of characterization, d) humour. XVII. Try your hand at teaching. 1. Say what you would do in the teacher's position:
John's first day in school went smoothly. On the second day, another child sat in the place John wanted. John refused to sit in any of the vacant places and was given the choice of sitting down at another place or standing. He chose to stand. His parents came to school several times in the next few weeks, very distressed that all John did at school was stand.
2. Practise your "Classroom English". Ask your pupils: a) to do Exercise XIV on p. 134 (written work); b) to get ready with Exercise XVm (orally). XVIII. a) Translate the text below into Russian:
To me it has always seemed that the very essence of good humour is that it must be without harm and without malice. I admit that there is in all of us a certain vein of the old original demoniacal humour or joy in the misfortune of another which sticks to us like our original sin. It ought not to be funny to see a man, especially a fat and pompous man, slip suddenly on a banana skin. But it is. When a skater on the pond who is describing graceful circles and showing off before a crowd, breaks through the ice, everybody shouts with joy. To an original savage, the cream of the joke in such cases was found if a man who slipped broke his neck, or a man who went through the ice never came up again. I can imagine a group of pre-historic men standing round the ice-hole where he had disappeared and laughing till their sides split. If there had been such things as a pre-historic newspaper, the affair would have been headed up: "Amusing Incident. Unknown Gentleman Breaks Through Ice and Is Drowned".
But our sense of humour under the civilization has been weakened. Much of the fun of this sort of the thing has been lost on us. (From "Humour As I See It" by Stephen Leacock)
b) Discuss the following questions:
1. Do you agree with Leacock that good humour must be without harm and without malice? 2. What purpose should humour serve? 3. Is Leacock right when he says that humour has been weakened under civilization? Does he really mean it? 4. Do you agree to Leacock's opinion that humorous Siies of life are revealed only to the few who have given thought to it? 5. Do you think that his story "How We Kept Mother's Day" and the like may get people to understand their imperfections and try to get rid of them? 6. Is that story true to life? 7. What do you think is the essence of good humour?
LABORATORY EXERCISES (I)
1. Listen to the text "How We Kept Mothers Day", mark the stresses and tunes, repeat the text following the model.
2. Make your sentences less categoric by using the given model.
3. Write a spelling-translation test. Check it with the key. Check your spelling with a dictionary.
4. Paraphrase the sentences using the given patterns.
5. Extend the following sentences.
6. Translate the given sentences. Check your translation with the key.
7. Listen to the text "Being a Househusband" or some other text on the topic "Family Holidays". Find the English equivalents of the given Russian phrases. Get ready to speak on the part of the wife.
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